Week 2: Grief & rest
Sometimes it feels hard to find rest.
We tell ourselves we don’t have time. We haven’t yet found practices that TRULY feel restful. We don’t have safe physical spaces to dedicate to resting. We work in fields or manage households where we tell ourselves that if we rest, others will suffer our absence. Or we have no guidance from people who model resting well.
So this week, we’ll explore different angles of rest, particularly how to find it while we’re grieving. I wanted to cover this topic because…
a.) I need to rest (see: the message my assistant sent me this weekend, “You seem to be so busy you lack rest”… girl, thank you)
b.) We could all use some rest these days ~ especially after the last year and a bit of grief.
c.) If we can lean on others to help us find rest we should. So I invited those people in.
I believe that in finding space for rest there is also a certain feeling and level of vulnerability. At least I’m finding it to be that way. At work we have to ask for space to rest, at home finding time to rest means telling others you can’t show up, and above all we have to dig deep and tell ourselves, “Yo, self… pump the brakes… you need a minute.”
So I’m excited to explore this topic with you ~ calling in people, orgs, and digital resources like The Rested Revolution, Sundari Malcolm, Eman Salem (this playlist already has me blissed out AF) and The Nap Ministry - to flip the narrative of what it means to rest, how we find it, and who it serves when we do.
A little tour of the content below
On this page, you’ll be able to access all of the content for Week 2 of Caregiving
This includes (in the order it’s categorized on this page):
~ A special live event on May 20th @ 7:30pm
~ A special on-demand session recorded just for Caregiving
~ Rest-focused resources (things to read, watch & listen to)
~ Downloadable resources (coming soon)
~ Mental health resources (here)
LIVE & ON-DEMAND
Below you’ll find two opportunities to find rest in your grief in this week.
~ A special yoga nidra session recorded by Sundari Malcolm
~ An live evening event with The Rested Revolution
Guided rest session
Friday May 21st @ 7:30pm PT
Join me and Flory Huang (The Rested Revolution) for an evening all about rest. We’ll discuss what rest can look like in aaall kinds of formats ~ especially while grieving. Then Flory will lead a guided rest session, journaling, and more.
(Replay available to attendees)
This 21-minute Yoga Nidra practice is guided by Sundari Malcolm, yoga and meditation teacher, death doula, and director of BIPOC wellbeing for The Dinner Party.
“Yoga Nidra is a chance to have someone else guide you through your body, telling each and every part that it’s okay to relax.” So we offer this to you in hopes that you find rest, peace, and space to grieve.
This video was recorded in a way that accommodates watching and simply listening. Enjoy and take care.
“The one thing that I realized is that not all practices, not all modalities are going to work for where I am in my grief at all times. And so my hope is always to teach my students that I’ve learned myself, which is learn all of them and try them all on, so that way when you find yourself in the midst of your grief and you know that you need something to bring you back down and ground you, you have different things to pull on.
This practice is Yoga Nidra and I started practicing this practice or applying it to my own life because I had a lot of trouble finding rest. I lost my mother to breast cancer and I lost my father to brain cancer, and while everyone says “sleep, find rest,” it didn’t work that well for me. When your mind is constantly racing with the fog that is grief - with the storm that is loss and pain and trauma - it’s important sometimes to find other people that can guide you - to ask for assistance, to take off the superhero cape. Because grief is hard. And what is true is that giving the mind a break is vital.”
~ Sundari Malcolm
RESOURCES
Inspired by my newsletters, The Mourning Herald and PAUSE, this collection of resources were curated for you to read, watch, and listen to.
~ Read through articles or pick up books written by leaders in the grief space
~ Watch videos and films to help you feel less alone in your grief
~ Listen to podcasts created by leaders in the space who have interviewed special guests about their journey and advice
Week 2 Playlist: Rest & Grief
Curated by Eman Salem of IronSelf, this playlist was created for you to access from anywhere, anytime.
You deserve to rest. Take a deep breath, this playlist is for when you just want to drop your shoulders, close your eyes, and rest.
Music is a healer, a soother, a listener, the one that can hold you so effortlessly. Let the music carry you to wherever you need to go to feel it, dance it out, cry it, yell it, you catch the drift.
Things to read
A few articles to inspire how you can rest and why you should rest. As well as resources to help you find rest in practices that are healing and nurturing.
Realms of Rest | The Rested Revolution
Sunday night rituals for rest | Girls Night In
Rest supports grief: Rituals | The Nap Ministry
Now more than ever | The Rested Revolution
As grind culture slows down, will you? | The Nap Ministry
Things to listen to
Here are a number of resources to listen to on the couch, on the floor, on a walk, in the tub. Each asset provides insights into the power of rest, why we should rest, how we can rest, and how rest can bring us much deeper healing than we might expect.
You are worthy of rest | The Atlantic’s Social Distance
You don’t have to earn rest | Raising Rebels Podcast
Restorative yoga as a Module for Resting | The Rested Revolution (a video, but you are invited to just listen!)
Spaces to follow
Here are some people doing lovely rest-related things on the internet. If you choose to be on social, here are some spaces that will make your feed feel a little more cozy, restful, and offer inspiration to care for yourself with true rest.
Rest is a spiritual practice | @TheNapMinistry
Your resting requires no rationalization | @The.Rested.Revolution
@LiberateMeditation | Daily meditation for the Black Experience
@BlackGirlInOm | Intergenerational healing space for Black Women to rest easy